tales of a pilgrim

the following text is a transcription of a speach I held in the sunday matinée of our community on the 9th of july. I wanted to share some insights and gifts I got during my journeys on the road and being a pilgrim. I had the impulse to create this text and share it here for everybody to read it.

There is a long, long history in this project Tamera of going on pilgrimages. We would not be sitting in this beautiful Aula if Sabine Lichtenfels would not have gone, together with some others, on a pilgrimage and fundraise money to build this Aula back in 2005.

Pilgrimages can look very different, very unique to each individual or group that is intending to go on such a journey. They have been a part not only of this community but in many cultures people use a certain time of their life to go on a quest, an inner quest to have a dedicated time where they are stripped down to the minimum and seak guidance, meaning and answers.

Some people go walking, some people go by bicycle, some people go by horse, alone, in groups, there are different means through which you can go on a pilgrimage. Most important is that people are going with an intention. Most of the time, when your decision is ripe, stepping into this unknown field, the „universe“ answers very often with very unique challenges, very unique encounters, very unique surprises that are mostly answers or responses to the prayers and intentions you set in the beginning.

For me it was very beautiful to come to Tamera and see that pilgrimages were used, for example, not only to bring forward the individual on its personal journey and to conquer or to get to know inner working points, but to also face crisis, be it political, human or natural crises on our planet, whitnessing them as a group and to go through these experiences together.

Sabine Lichtenfels and others organized a peace pilgrimage in the firtile crescend along the wall between Israel and Palestine, which she describes very touching in her book „Grace pilgrimage for a future without war“. This journey was done in order to perceive without judgement and to be touched by what is happening to the land and its people, a great book I recommend. Another example were water pilgrimages along our water line up until the ocean where people were starting to get in touch with the critical situation of water in our region.

These journeys are an incredible way of opening our systems so we can bear witness to the reality present on our planet. I am greatful for everybody who already went on such a challenge and who exposed their own being and their own soul to all these moving topics that you are confronted with.

becoming a pilgrim in an unusual time

I myself, I went on a pilgrimage one and a half years ago because I needed some help. I was at a very desperate place in my life, having to deal with the topic of death in my surrounding and even 2 teenagers that left our earthly realm that took part in our programm, I had very low capacity and felt greatly depleated.

I was astonished that within 11 days being on the way to Santiago de Compostela over christmas, I gained so much joy, trust and energy and even took the decision to quit smoking after 15 years. I had gained a lot of decision power afterwards to change many, many things in my life. It was only an 11 days walk but it had an intense landslide effect on my life.

the quest continues – from Germany to Portugal by bike

A few month later after being back at work I decided I wanted to go on an even deeper mission and that was to cycle by bike from the town that I was raised close to the biggest waterfall of the river Rhine in Switzerland, all the way to Tamera in Portugal – you can get more insights about that if you read the older blog entries.

What appeared to me in the beginning more as an adventure, became quickly a tough learning journey in which I could witness my crisis inside as a human and the outer crisis that we are all part of at the moment – mass species extinction and a rapidly changing climate. I was traveling in the middle of October and was looking so much forward to the forests and to be in lush, green nature. But there was hardly any rain in whole Europe that time after a very dry summer. I talked to farmers in Switzerland who were hosting me, whose wells were running out of water – an unbelievable scenario that I only knew from Portugal.

This continued, I was witnessing a lot of empty lakes, big lakes that were empty or had criticaly low watertables. One time I passed a huge waterfall, it looked very bizarre as there was no water running, left were lime structures that built up over hundreds of years. I was crossing a lot of bridges that were corssing huge dried up riverbeds. The water was gone in so many places.

I spent two months on my bike, slept in a tent under the stars and was very exposed to the elements and weather. All of this had a very direct impact on my system. After a while I realized I had so many tears and feelings piled up to cry for what was happening around me. The developing climate crisis was a very tensible phenomena, much more an experience than an intellectual discussion. The way I often saw myself was more being strong, being an adventourer, going into challenges and enduring tough times. But a new feeling arouse in me.

In our national parque in Portugal, the Serra da Estrela, which just before I left to this journey, was on fire with 20% of it burning down. I was very sad about it. On the way back, I actually cycled through this area. Some people told me, Eiko, don’t go there, it just burned down and you won’t want to spend your holidays there.

I felt a very unknown feeling inside myself in that moment. I couldn’t say that I will not cycle through this area, because I won’t enjoy it. It felt similar as if I told to a friend in hospistall, I will not come and visit you! It felt like a huge betrayal of a deep inner value, not showing up in this important moment. The whole day that I was cycling up these mountains, crying for what was happening there, taught a lot to me. It had a very strong impact to feel the silence, hearing no birds, smelling the smoke, seeing the hills completely black. This was happening not only once, it was happening actually many times that I was cycling.

I was in an inner washing machine not only for the reasons I explained, but also because I had some challenges with my partner that were, to keep it short, pretty intense and triggered deep unknown fears and layers of trauma which kept me sleepless many nights. Most of the time I was alone and had to find a lot of humbleness for myself. This, the way of being so exposed, being raw, also helped a lot that I could cry and helped that I could let go.

To get up every morning, beeing part of every sunrise and moving forward was such a huge helping way of being.

When I came back home, it was very challenging for me to reconnect with my community. I spoke about many things with friends, the kids and teenagers about my adventures, also some very insightful moments.

As I was constantly, directly with my entire beeing exposed to this reality, it had changed many things within me.

I again asked myself, what is relevant in our times? What is important? How do we and I make the time I spend meaningful? It was especially connected to the work I do with teenagers and young adults and the transformative camps and undertakings we offer for them.

I’m not a fan of superficial holiday camps. For me, there was always the search and intention to practice meaning in what we offer.

youth pilgrimage 2023

While I was gone another young man of our youthgroup also went on a pilgrimage, along the pilgrim’s path of St. Jacob in France. When he came back he also reported about his inner journey to our youth group. There were many, many similarities of challenges, chaos and inner growth that were beautiful to hear. Being a pilgrim, going for long walks, talking about the inner movements became a very present topic in our youth group. It lead us into an old dream, why not to go on a pilgrimage with our group and invite some more to join us.

It was amazing to see how much resonance people had and how many teenagers and

young adults were showing up and asking whether they could participate. We had some clear agreements that this would be a drug-free time, no alcohol, and that we leave our smartphones at home (besides the ones who had to organize logistics). We thought this might be a challenge for some of the kids and they wouldn’t show up for the trip. But we were suprized, the higher the bar was, the more liked to come.

It was very, very beautiful to have young adults and teenagers together. Right from the beginning it was so touching that people were sharing so much about themselves and their inner state – at the moment there is such a high level of stress in young people. There is a high level of also things at home that are challenging, that some people cannot really deal with.

Since the beginning our intention for youth camps or youth work is to create safe spaces where these things can be spoken and can be seen and where from that place something beautiful can blossom and sprout. It was touching to observe how each day people got softer and opened up more and more, the feeling of trust and acceptance was growing.

After some time, the kids were starting to play cards with each other. They were starting to sing in the evening, even though we didn’t have a really good guitar player. Everybody was improvising to create something in the evenings. We were only seven days on the road. In these seven days there was so much magic happening. A young man created a unique rapsong for the pilgrimage where many started to add verses. All of us could chant this song in the end.

We also offered different spaces for reflection, contemplation, discussion and sharings. In the mornings, we would walk the first half an hour in silence. Most of them really enjoyed it so much to have this half an hour for themselves. We always gave them a question along the way. Sometimes we expected resistance, that they wouldn’t want to go alone or in silence, but they asked for more and more time. Also the sharing rounds around the fire were very alive, people were bringing their stories in. There was a lot of healing happening, for which we are very grateful.

This program had become so nourishing, also for the team. It was exactly the remedy that we all needed.

When I think about what we as humans might need at the moment and what I think our planet needs, I often think of these spaces. They are very simple and yet so healing and powerful. They are very simple in the way they are created, but require courage and engagement.

Throughout these times I realized there was so much streaming back and I want to create more of these spaces, for myself and the next generations.

I want to advertise going on a pilgrimage because it has a very deep cellular impact, it helped me a lot and I saw the impact on other people. If we can let go of this fear to feel our wounds and the wounds around us, healing can happen.

I was scared to cry for all of this that I saw. But when it happened, the pain that initialy felt overwhelming became less stressful. When these tears could finally flow, instead of constantly not looking there, I felt much more peaceful and whole.

May our lifes support the healing that needs to happen to create a future without war.